How do I start? My friend is gone. We weren't so close over the last couple years, but there were years where our families did a lot of life together. We got married, we had babies, we spent time. I developed a deep love for Alan and his family that has never abated.
I was shocked to hear he'd fallen from a malfunctioning ladder and landed on concrete last Thursday, and of course was very concerned. But on Saturday another friend posted on Facebook that he was at the hospital saying goodbye, and that they were going to pull life support, and then it really hit me hard. It hadn't been clear how grave the situation was, and suddenly we had to go.
So we went to the hospital and were graciously welcomed by the family, and I got to say goodbye to my friend. Seeing him made it much more real and personal, but I'm so glad we went. He died two minutes after they removed the respirator.
Alan was a good man. He was someone you could depend on, someone who did things right. It turns out the previous owners of our house hired Alan to do their roof, not too long before we bought it. When Hurricane Rita was threatening, I called Alan for an estimate of what kind of wind speed the roof could handle, and we stayed put based on that. Rita didn't hit us, but Ike did, and not one shingle left our roof.
I probably laughed more with and around Alan in the last 10 years than anyone else. He had a knack for laughing at himself and situations that was disarming and genuine without being (too) silly.
Alan was a thinker and a wrestler and a struggler. He wrestled with big ideas, from politics to theology to faith, and we spent many an hour discussing and debating over the years. I am confident that his struggle is over and he has found his peace.
He loved his family and his kids, and it is for them that I am deeply grieved. I feel an overwhelming deep knot in my gut, an intense heaviness. I have imagined the same situation in our family, my kids losing one of us, and I can't begin to even think about it.
Alan, we will see you again soon, my friend. But not yet.
